Idler's Dream

Here is our wish list for the second half of the season:

• Allard Baird resists the temptation to trade Jeremy Affeldt.

• Jeremy Affeldt gets healthy, stays healthy and finds a defined role.

• Mike Sweeney gets healthy, stays healthy and continues to crush AL pitching.

• Sluggrrrrr continues his disappearing act from the K.

• Buddy Bell turns in the correct lineup card every single game.

• The Royals sign Alex Gordon.

• Mike MacDougal gets 20 saves (I can’t believe I just wrote that.)

• Emil Brown doesn’t wake up.

• Allard deals Terrence Long for an actual prospect.

• Ambiorix Burgos returns to the bullpen.

• The K is packed for the 20th anniversary tribute to the champs, August 12-14.

• Zack Grienke figures it out.

• Mark Teahen starts hitting more doubles.

• The Royals retire that awful “dance-off” between innings.

• Matt Stairs finishes the season as a Royal.

• Lima misses his exit to the K on I-70, continues east, and ends up at Busch Stadium. The Cardinals miss the playoffs.

• Rob and Rany officially give up on the team for the 216th time.

• DJ Carrasco keeps doing whatever it is he’s doing to get hitters out.

• Guy Hansen quits being quoted in the papers and actually works to drop the team ERA below 5.50.

• The Royals sweep the Yankees in New York to go 6-0 against them on the season.

• The Yankees to miss the playoffs by one game.

• Angel Berroa doubles his walk total to 22.

• Leo Nunez gets sent to the minors.

• The Royals actually adopt the slogan: “It could be worse. It could be the Devil Rays.”

• Calvin Pickering figures it out.

• The Royals rediscover how to correctly use Andy Sisco.

• Andy Sisco continues kicking ass.

• Ruben Gotay begins to feel comfortable fielding his position.

• Angel Berroa has at least one game where he doesn’t swing at a pitch in the dirt.

• John Buck hits .270.

• Buddy Bell learns how to use his bullpen.

• David DeJesus continues his recent trend of NOT attempting to steal bases.

• Angel Berroa doesn’t get near the leadoff spot.

• JP Howell gets sent to the minors and gets his confidence back.

• Runelvys Hernandez gets stronger.

• Denny Mathews and Ryan Lefebvre have a conversation…On the air.

• Matt Stairs leads by example and the Royals raise their team OBA.

• The Royals announce the Tony Pena era never happened and lobby MLB to expunge all records from the previous two seasons.

• Mike Wood continues thriving in the bullpen.

• A Royals pitcher hits triple digits on the stadium radar gun.

• Denny Bautista heals.

• The Royals go 33-42 to avoid 100 losses for the third time in four seasons.

Hey, it can't hurt.